It has been a long time between posts and well, I chastise myself for that. So much has happened in the meantime.
I spent many years saying “No to God,”as I am sure some of you have too. I was raised in a family that believed God existed, but didn’t believe in organized religion. That being said, I also lived in a smallish town where some of the local churches sent buses around to the local neighborhoods to pick up children that wanted to attend Sunday school and church. Let me just say, if a bus came by… I was on it. I was constantly seeking God, I don’t think I ever really understood why I was seeking Him, but I was running hard after Him. Now I look back and I realize that it was He that was running hard after me. Throughout my life there have been times where I would seek God, usually when I felt things were going ok and He would be proud of me. It was always during those dark times when I truly needed Him that I turned my back on Him.
Rather recently, I was going through a dark time and I found myself lost and didn’t know where to turn. God spoke to me in that moment and said, “I am here my daughter, you are not alone.” Now, at that point I was a recently separated mom of tween girls and I knew there was no way I was getting through this without God. I took the girls and we began visiting local churches looking for a new church home. God guided us through several and then during the Christmas season of 2011, we visited a local church that felt like home. The girls and I began attending regularly and I found that I sought a deeper more meaningful relationship with God. I began with morning devotionals, time that I devoted to God and His word. Every day I would end my time with Him praying for Him to guide my steps and allow me to do His will. In March of 2012, I attended the women’s conference that my church hosts every year and during that conference God spoke to my heart in a way that I had not felt since I was a very young girl and he called my name during Sunday school and I found salvation. I am sharing this because it is important to where we are going, God spoke to me and told me that I was going to make drastic changes in my life. I was going to leave a career that offered security for my girls and myself and embark on a journey that would allow me to serve Him. I had been contemplating starting a side business to do as I was teaching, but leave teaching and totally invest in this new career? This new career would take me to foreign countries where I could share the gospel? I just didn’t understand that…but, in the end I said “Yes to God!” Now, it is 17 months later and I have started a new business and in the last 2 months have been on two mission trips with my daughters. Our first mission was to New Orleans, LA and it was moving and life changing for myself and the girls. I saw God work as I shared the gospel in the French Quarter and as we served the children of the ninth ward who have seen such incredible tragedy in their young lives, yet know how to love without reservation. I saw lives changed when a 19 year old homeless girl connected with my daughters and accepted Christ and sought help from a local church because she wanted better for her unborn child. I have had a “glimpse of eternity” in those moments and in so many moments before and after. I said “Yes to God,” and it has made all the difference.
We also went to Costa Rica on mission this summer, but I think that is best left for another entry.
If ever there was an Unglued day, this could have been it. Picture day, so very stressful with twin tween girls. As always for picture day I had chosen the perfect outfit. Well, at least as always when I remember that it is picture day. But I digress… Perfect outfits for my beautiful girls. Only to finish with breakfast and lunches to find CE dressed in shorts and her sushi t-shirt. Sushi… really? For picture day I asked. Hmmmm, I could have approached that better I am sure. Tears followed and after much discussion we finally agreed on a suitable top for picture day, then I was adjusting the way it hung in the front much to her dissatisfaction…more tears. “Father in Heaven give me strength!”
Moving on to hair, NO!!!!! How do mothers survive this? It was tears, more tears followed by well…tears. Finally I hugged my poor daughter and asked what was wrong, the tween answer of the decade, Nothing! My God Glue is wearing thin by this point. Fortunately her twin comes to me and says mommy it’s time for us to go, then proceeds to give me a soul reassuring hug and I Love You and off they went to school. Whew, I made it, no screaming, eye rolling, or broken relationships. And I have successfully navigated a disastrous situation without my “I am a Screamer label!” Whoo hoo!!!
Labels… we all have them. What I realized after reading chapter 3 of Unglued is that some of the most hurtful labels are the ones I placed on myself. Many of these labels are also ones I hear my tweens saying about themselves. WHAT!!!! They are 10 years old and calling themselves stupid, I DON’T THINK SO!!! Chapter 3 has just become a family chapter. Sticky notes around the house,
“Labels only stick if I let them!”,
“A soul who believes she can’t leave…doesn’t”,
“Oh God, chisel me. I don’t want to be locked in my hard places forever.”
I absolutely cannot allow this pain and suffering to infect another generation of women. Going to fight with all that I am to be the best example of a woman that throws off all my labels. The only labels my daughters will wear are…
I know with every day that passes we are coming closer to the moment that these angels will pull away and no longer want me around.
However, that being said…this morning wasn’t one of them and for that I thank God. Those sweet girls were so snugly this morning and CR wanted to stay home in her pj’s and snuggle with mommy and CE whole heartily agreed. Of course, teacher mommy said no and proceeded to get them ready for the day.
Today could have been an unglued day because we were running late and other things weren’t going as planned, but I held fast and strong, prayed with all my might and was NOT a freak out woman.
Not coming unglued allowed me to cherish this morning with these angel girls, and it was a moment of IMPERFECT PROGRESS.
If there was ever a reason to do an online Bible study group for an Unglued mom this is it. The trials of raising twin tween girls have me completely UNGLUED!!!
I have just completed week one of the online bible study for Lysa TerKeurst’s new book Unglued with Melissa Taylor and P31 Ministries. I am thankful for this study as I have had the opportunity to utilize some of the teachings already. This week has been full of teachable moments when we have had one unglued moment after another with crazy trials related to school.
I mean seriously, I remind as they go out the door to ask questions about corrections we had made to their journal the night before only to receive an email later that morning from the teacher telling me that the girls had left their journals at home on the coffee table. Ughhhhh!!
Fortunately, I have help in the form of the Almighty and this bible study. I am going to share a few of the gems from this book as we go along so be sure to follow. Or better yet… join us with this bible study.
Chapter 1 and 2 Gems…
“Imperfect changes are slow steps of progress wrapped in grace… Imperfect progress” pg.14
“God game me emotions so I could experience life, not destroy it.” pg. 15
“we won’t bend from the weight of our past, but we will bow tho the One who holds out hope for a better future.” pg. 17
“I can face things that are out of my control and not act out of control.” pg. 23
“as long as I believe– really believe– God is there and that He is out to do me good, I can stop freaking out trying to fix everything on my own. I can rest in the fact that God is in control.” pg. 24